Finding yourself in on the front page. kind of
I was shocked last Sunday when I saw the Sacramento Bee’s front page. “Many types of loss mark midlife for boomers. ” The online version has an even more depressing headline discount canada goose store us sales . “Boomers’ lives full of losses expected and unexpected, canada goose montebello zwart for sale . ”
I felt like I’d seen a reflection of myself in a carnival fun house mirror. Me. but distorted.
The article by Anita Creamer. consistently one of the Bee’s best columnists and writers (in my humble opinion) canada goose store us sales . reports that boomers are being hit by divorce. the death of parents, cheap canada goose victoria parka xxs . fading youth. failing health and economic loss canada goose store us sales on sale .
Parts of the image I recognize, victoria parka canada goose sale outlet online . They call people my age “the sandwich generation” for a reason. We’re often squished between the needs of our children and those of our elders. In 2005. I answered an internal call to care for my Dad and gave up a job and identity that I truly loved canada goose store us sales .
For the first six months after I “retired purchase canada goose store us sales . ” before my Dad actually made the move from Washington. I felt a profound loss of identity. I didn’t know how to measure the value of my day. what had I produced canada goose store us sales . I didn’t know how to answer when people asked me. “What do you do. ” The hole that I left in my team of co-workers slowly filled in. The hole they left in me was slower to heal.
But loss isn’t what I feel now. with this big caveat. nothing truly bad has happened. We’ve been hit by the economy (who hasn’t. ) and we don’t have the resources that we did when I worked. but we’re secure enough canada goose store us sales buy .
My marriage is probably stronger and my relationship with my children better buy online canada goose jackets cheap . despite the energy that funnels into caring for Dad.
And my health is better. One of the priorities I made for myself starting four years ago was a regular exercise program. something I’d never been good about but knew I needed as an outlet from the stress of caring for Dad. I started by having a trainer come to the house once a week canada goose stores ontario outlet store . knowing that I would wimp out when it came to something like – oh. I don’t know – getting my heart rate up above 90. If our appointment was at my house. I figured. I couldn’t escape canada goose kensington parka black xs outlet online .
Several women in my neighborhood noticed (since I looked pretty dorky doing lunges in my driveway). They were interested in trying it. too. Four years later. we continue to split the cost of a trainer and added more workouts.
I no longer look at productivity the way I once did. I am better at being in the moment with my father. A friend recently sent me this email.
I have found in my Hospice work that heart time is different from mind time. Culturally you and I are programmed to be productive — even in our sleep we should be productive with our psyche.. Foolishness. Just being with each other. and not doing is a major blessing few really get. The ancient ways here understood it fully.
My elderly friend. Jackie. who lives nearby can sit quietly in her meditation room for a long period. She can see in a simple flower bloom a beauty that most miss. or the little birds in her back yard. She absolutely relishes ‘living’ instead of doing although she is a doer too canada goose kensington parka pink on sale .
Glad you are having this time concepts x canada goose orange parka cheap . Just remember. sometimes with those who are really advanced in age. they are here but en route to the other side. they spend some moments in the nether region — the space between — maybe a way of getting used to letting go. When they are in it canada goose whistler parka plum outlet . they are distant from those around them even when those around them are physically present. Don’t take it personally — tis the way of the universe — turn it over to God.
I’m grateful to Ms. Creamer for covering this important topic canada goose store us sales . I’m grateful for this time with my Dad. I’m grateful for the changes this period has wrought in me. I guess I’m just plain grateful.
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